Emotional Freedom Technique
Emotional freedom technique (EFT), or “tapping,” is an alternative treatment for emotional distress. It is used for trauma, fears, and anxiety. EFT involves tapping near the end points of “energy meridians” (acupuncture points) located around the body. Basically, it is tapping your energy points and releasing the crud while saying mantras. It is believed that this type of tapping of the body can create a balance in your energy system and treat emotional and physical pain. Sounds kind of weird? Don’t worry, when you open your mind and begin this technique, you will feel the release, and it won’t be weird anymore.
EFT is meant to help release the negative energy brought out by your emotions and help you to accept yourself regardless of what you are feeling right now. It will help you cope with the feelings of abandonment or rejection, and oftentimes, it helps release other old emotions that are stuck inside of you and helps you let go of self-limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck and preventing you from moving forward.
Remember, although it is normal for people to beat themselves up or get down on themselves after a failed marriage or relationship, it is not okay to stay in this place. This technique will help you accept the situation the way it is and accept yourself and your reaction to what is happening. It will help you to feel at peace with yourself.
This exercise will essentially allow you to embrace your emotions, so that you can work through them, and eventually let them go. Take note of the emotion that you are feeling right now and write down on a scale of one to ten how intense this emotion is.
There are two steps to this technique: one is the physical (tapping) and the other one is verbal (mantras). Below are a few examples of the verbal statements that you can say while tapping on your points to help accept and release the negative about your breakup. Fill in whatever emotion you are going through right now.
Here are some examples of mantras that you can say:
• Even though I feel hurt, rejected, and abandoned by my ex, I love and accept myself deeply and completely.
Even though I am shocked, angry, and devastated that my ex had an affair, I love and accept myself deeply and completely.
Even though I feel hatred toward my ex, I can’t believe he threw our marriage away. I love and accept myself deeply and completely.
Even though I feel (you fill in the blank), I love and accept myself deeply and completely.
There are so many statements you can make up. Once you become more familiar with this process, you will have no problem writing one that resonates with you, but for now, start with these, edit them as you need to, and use any others that come up for you when you become in tune with your feelings.
You will follow your mantras with another round; only this time, you will be saying positive mantras:
I am open to the possibility that I can begin to let go
I am open to softening these intense feelings
It’s okay to let this go and begin to heal
I am open to the possibility of feeling happiness again
I am open to the possibility of letting go of this sadness and seeing the light that surrounds me
I am open to choosing peace and love and finding softer feelings
I am so grateful for the support I have all around me
I believe in myself and my ability to create healing and happiness again.
How do you feel? Rate on a scale of one to ten the strength of your emotion. By the end of this exercise, you should feel calmer; if you don’t repeat the technique until the strength of your emotion drops down to around a three or less
Using EFT, and the other techniques that I will go over with you, will help you cope and release the negative. Whatever feelings or emotions come up, give yourself full permission to let them be. You will find inner peace and healing.
Below is a diagram of the tapping points for EFT. Before you begin, close your eyes for a second and feel your emotion. Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten on how strong this emotion feels, and do the tapping exercise until you are down to a two or three.
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