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  • Writer's picturecarmensilvestro19

How to Deal with Heartache on Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day can be an incredibly hard day for many people, especially those that are in the middle of separation, divorce or overcoming heartbreak. But there are a few ways to cope, and it all starts with making a plan."

Having a plan in place, helps the day go better because you have direction and less time to overthink about those issues you are dealing with.

Whether you choose to go to dinner with your friends or have a nice day of self-care, planning is the key to keeping you from straying into those self-defeating thoughts or negative self-talk.

Grieving the end of your relationship can be especially tough on a holiday that is supposed to symbolize love, so here are some ways for dealing with heartache on Valentine’s Day:

1. Recognize Your Feelings

Give yourself permission to validate your feelings. If you need to cry or scream, then cry or scream. No need to suppress your emotions. Just don’t live here all day!

Give yourself some time on this day to let yourself grieve the loss of your marriage and the future you thought you were going to have with this person. By giving yourself the time to mourn, you will be making space for more love and more good things to come into your life.

2. Self-love

Valentine's Day can be a great time to focus and cultivate on the most important relationship that you should have --- the relationship with yourself.

Spend some time tending to your inner self by meditating, going for a nature walk, praying, and writing in your journal.

Also, don’t forget to do the fun things that bring you joy! --Whether it’s going for a mani and pedi, buying yourself flowers or candy, watching your favorite movie, reading a book, or taking a luxurious, scented bubble bath, pick something that makes you feel good --and do it.

3. Connect with your single friends

Plan a special lady’s night with the girls. In this day and age, many single women are now planning dinners and dancing for Valentine’s Day. There are also many Valentine’s Day events that are catered to singles where you get to celebrate being single and fabulous.

And if you want to make it even more meaningful, make a pact with your friends in advance, that on this night, you will go out and celebrate your friendship, and all the love and respect that you have for one another.

4. Plan a project

Whether it’s to clean out your closets, rearrange the pantry, or pull weeds, having a project to concentrate on will really help keep your mind off Valentine’s Day.

And if you're really in need of a good distraction, please give volunteering a try. There are so many volunteering opportunities that you can be a part of.

Some volunteering opportunities can include: helping at animal shelters, your local hospital or nursing homes, homeless shelters, and your community center.

Volunteering is a win/win, because it takes the emphasis off you and puts it on those in need. It also gives you an opportunity get out of your house and make new friends.

5. Positive Affirmations

Oftentimes when we are going through heartbreak our self-esteem takes a big hit and we may start to question our self-worth. -Feelings of self-doubt may appear, and frustration is on the rise. Having positive affirmations written out in advance can really help during these times.

By reciting these mantras throughout the day, even if they don’t feel true at first, your mindset will shift, and you will start to connect with them and believe them. Affirmations are amazing for bringing you back and helping you feel good and inspired.

Here are a few examples of positive affirmations you can recite:

“I am enough and have enough,

“My value doesn’t depend on anyone else.”

“My courage is unlimited.”

“Everything is working out for me just the way it should be.”

"Change is hard, but I will be so much stronger for it."

"I have an amazing future ahead of me."

6. Focus Valentine’s Day around your children (or nieces & nephews).

Get your colors or crayons out and get ready to be super creative on Valentine’s Day.

-Make a simple craft for your children, or a special hand-made card with really colorful, pictures or stickers and loving messages.

-Write them special love notes on heart-shaped red construction paper that you dangle on some helium balloons. Stick the balloons to the ceiling with some fishline and tape. (you can also use Google for tons of easy ideas).

-Take it to the kitchen: bake cupcakes or brownies, and/or make their favorite dinner. (maybe put one in their lunchbox with a loving note.)

Make it super special: Use your favorite tablecloths, napkins, and tableware.

Put all your energy and thought into these ideas. Your children will love it and so will you!

Dealing with heartache from ending a relationship or marriage during any time of the year is very difficult, but it can be even more challenging during Valentine's Day. But don't let feelings of heartbreak overwhelm you and keep you down all day. Remember at the end of the day, Valentine's Day is just one day of the year. --And, whether you are in a relationship or not, it doesn't change the fact that there is still so much love in your heart, so much to be grateful for, and so much love all around you. Whether you celebrate this day or not, it's irrelevant.

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